Auld Lang- no
by PoisonAlchemy
Summary: The Jellicles decide that the New Year is the perfect opportunity to try and resolve Macavity's wicked ways, and 'Teazer and 'Jerrie's kleptomania. Does it work? How does Macavity deal with being at the Junkyard? -One Shot-


**A/N: I should be working, but I'm writing more one shots. New Year's Eve is a bad day for me, but I thought I'd write something to try ease it.**

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><p>New Year.. What was the point? To Macavity, the New Year celebrations were pointless- wasn't it just celebarting the change in the date? It annoyed him; the amount of times he'd written the wrong year on a file.. Not that he'd ever admit it, though.<p>

Why were they celebrating? Was it another excuse for a party?

Macavity, unsurprisingly, was crouched behind a trash pile, observing the Jellicle Junkyard. He always elected to gatecrash huge celebrations- it meant that he could inflict fear upon all of the tribe, not just a random few.

"Have I banned this 'New Year' back at the Hideout?" Macavity muttered out of the corner of his mouth, addressing the two calico cats next to him.

"Its ah rea'son ta 'ave fun, o' cou'se ya 'ave ban'ed it," Rumpleteazer muttered, before being shushed by the red cat and Mungojerrie.

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><p>The Jellicle tribe had gathered in the clearing, and were milling around, dancing, chattering and laughing. The tom kittens were engaged in some scrap, while the queen kits were more engaged in Mistoffelees producing vividly coloured fireworks.<p>

"Misto, they're so pretty!" Jemima giggled, staring up at the bright sparks, which fizzed and faded from the black night sky. Victoria, Electra and Etcetera nodded, and Misto was about to reply when he was cut off.

"Of course, the Magical Mr Mistoffelees only creates amazing things.. However, I can attract the most beautiful queens-"

"TUGGER!" Etcetera screamed, physically leaping on the maned tom while the other queen kits slid over to greet Tugger.

"Mistoffelees is Mistoffe/gone/," Misto rolled his eyes at the Maine coon, before clicking his fingers and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Oi love Misto's tricks.." 'Teazer sighed, the still exploding fireworks reflecting in her chocolate eyes.

"Dun dun du duuuu, dun dun du- OW!" Mungojerrie shrieked, as his playful taunting was recepted with a slap.

"Oi do NOT 'ave a thin' for Misto! Jus 'is magic! Even if Oi did, ya nevah le' moi 'elp wiv 'is tricks!"

"Yea, bu' Mis'o's a noice guoiy. Whoiy aren' ya moikin' advances?"

"Do you mind? I don't want to hear about my failure of a /son/," Macavity snapped, rubbing his forehead in irritation. After several moments of silence, 'Teazer whispered.

"Jerreh, do ya relleh thin' Oi wannah be reloited ta tha 'Idden Paw?"

"Good point."

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><p>"Now, everyone.. For some of you, this is your first New Year celebration.." Munkustrap's calm, authoritative voice filled the Yard, silencing the shrieking kittens and summoning everyone to gather around him. Jemima nuzzled her father's paw, and was apprehended with a slight pat on the head.<p>

"New Years don't come around very often.. So, it is an excellent time to resolve any past problems or grudges," Munkustrap explained, as several of the kittens nuzzled him.

"That sounds lovely.." Victoria gasped, her face alight with excitement.

"Any fights can be resolved.. Is it a magical thing?" Mistoffelees- now Quaxo, with the absence of his magic- asked, resting his paws on his sister's shoulders.

Munkustrap's face split into a smile.

"No.. It is more of a traditional thing. It is a way to get rid of any hatred that we may be harboring,"

"Like my hatred for Tugger dropping me during the Ball?" Bombalurina asked, glaring daggers at her maned mate.

"Hey! You can't hate Tugger he's lovel-"

"That's enough, Etcy," Munkustrap interrupted, lightly tousling her headfur. "Now, Alonzo tells me that we have three visitors.. Two are already in our tribe, but are naughty. And one.. Well, I think my brother needs to get in the New Year spirit."

"Hey, I am in the god damn spirit!" Tugger protested, but was sshed by the silver tabby.

"Not you. Macavity, get down here."

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><p>"Oh, fu-" 'Jerrie muttered, his cursing cut off by his sister's paw. Macavity groaned, as every single Jellicle turned in the direction of the calico tom's outburst.<p>

"Thanks a lot, Mungojerrie. You're on sentry duty tonight for that," Macavity sighed, as the calico twins slid down the junk and ran into the clearing. After several moments, the red tom grudgingly followed. He wanted to attack, but his thirst for knowledge overpowered him. He must know about this celebration- it could be useful.

"'Teazer! 'Jerrie! Darlings," Jennyanydots purred, enveloping both of her children in a tight hug. The kittens slid across the floor and gathered round, nuzzling at their calico friends. They were Jellicle, and not evil- thus, they were still accepted in the tribe.

"Are you eating well- are you clean- 'Jerrie, are you washing behind your ears?" Jenny rambled, much to the embarrassment of her twins.

"Oi'm kinda 'ungreh," 'Jerrie mused.

"Ya always are!" 'Teazer grinned, pulling back from her mother's hug.

"MACAVITY, GET OVER HERE /RIGHT NOW/," Jenny yelled, marching over and grabbing the red tom by the ear. He had been standing a good distance away from the Jellicles- them not kicking him out of the Yard was unnerving. They still kept a good distance, but Jenny had never, ever been scared. In all honesty, even Macavity was a little scared of the Gumbie cat.

"What?!" Macavity hissed, as Jenny hauled him into the middle of the clearing. The kittens, held back by Munkustrap, were giggling madly. He looked absolutely hilarious at the mercy of the spotted queen.

"Why aren't you feeding my son?! Look at him, he's wasting away!" Jenny snapped, pointing to the calico tom. Mungojerrie raised his eyebrows in amusement- his muscles were well toned and prominent- not wasting away.

"I am feeding him! That tom's always hungry," Macavity muttered.

"Then you feed him more! He's a growing boy Macavity, and I will not hesitate to put you in a cold bath like I did when you were a kitten!" Jenny snapped, clipping the red tom round the ear and letting him go. He hissed and retreated to an empty corner of the Yard, quickly followed by 'Jerrie and 'Teazer.

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><p>Munkustrap and the other toms kept an eye on the red cat, but continued to chatter with the other Jellicles, as they all waited for the countdown to midnight.<p>

"I don't like it. Why are they all so happy? It's unnerving," Macavity muttered, more to Mungojerrie, as 'Teazer was still giggling about his encounter with her mother.

The group of queen kittens were a few feet away, whispering to each other and casting nervous glances over to Macavity. He wasn't as unapproachable due to the fact he was with 'Jerrie and 'Teazer- they seemed to be trying to keep the red tom calm. It was working, so far.

"Do you think Munkustrap was right? Can we resolve Macavity?" Jemima whispered, earning shrugs from Electra and Etcetera.

"Any cat can be resolved.." Victoria replied uncertainly. She was still struggling to see any good in Macavity- mainly because there wasn't any- but she had to try.

"Careful, 'Toria," Jemima whispered, as the white kitten tentatively made her way over to Macavity.

"Toria!" 'Teazer grinned, gesturing for the white kitten to come and sit with her.

Macavity frowned, resting a warning paw on 'Teazer's shoulder, mainly to try and wordlessly stop the white queen joining 'Teazer.

The last thing he expected was for the white kitten to reach out a paw to him, a nervous smile on her face. The rest of the Yard had fallen silent, apprehending Macavity's reaction.

'Bast, she needs to get away from me,' Macavity's brain hissed. He hated her and every other Jellicle, but his criminal cunning told him to keep the 'friendly' mask on.

His acid yellow eyes glared at the kitten's paw like it might bite him, before the tom wordlessly inclined his head. Everybody let out the breath they'd been holding, as Victoria tentatively sat next to 'Teazer and 'Jerrie. Had they managed to resolve the red tom?! They must have done.

"So, 'Teazer, 'Jerrie, why haven't you been visiting?" Victoria asked her friends, who simply shrugged.

"Jerreh's bin workin, an' this lump o' red won' le' moi outta the 'ideout," 'Teazer scoffed, elbowing the red tom in the ribs. He simply grunted, before batting the calico queen away.

"Do some work and you get leave, that's my rule," Macavity spoke up, resting his head in his paws. How much longer?

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><p>"Jellicles!" Munkustrap called, gesturing to a large clock Mistoffelees had conjured.<p>

"Twenty seconds!" He beamed, as the tribe formed a large circle, including 'Teazer on Macavity's left, 'Jerrie on his right and Victoria on Jerrie's right.

"What is this, I'm not danci-"

"TEN,"

"I don't like it,"

"NINE,"

"'Teazer, that went right through my ears!"

"EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO... ONE! HAPPY NEW YEEEEEEEEEAR!" The Jellicles yelled, before clasping paws. 'Teazer ended up holding Munkustrap and, to her disdain, Macavity's paws, while the red tom took her and 'Jerrie. 'Jerrie shuddered and took Macavity's paw.

All the Jellicles began to sing, rocking from side to side to add to the group atmosphere.

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot?" They began, as Macavity drifted his eyes shut to try block out the horror. He pinned his ears flat to his head, forcing a fake smile on his face. Every Jellicle continued to sing, thoroughly convinced that they'd converted the criminal tom.

The song finished, and the calico twins hastily let go of Macavity's paws, shortly before the rest of the Jellicles disentangled their own paws.

"So what's it to be, Macavity? Are you going to rejoin? Mungojerrie? Rumpleteazer? Are you going to stop stealing?" Munkustrap asked, as the tribe gathered in front of Macavity. The red tom took great pleasure in what he did next.

He sent a huge bolt of lightning into the clearing, momentarily blinding the Jellicles. 'Teazer and 'Jerrie had covered their eyes in apprehension, and simply rolled their eyes as their boss cut the power, while laughing maniacally.

"I don't think so. Surprise!" The red tom cackled, before bolting from the yard, laughing at the surprised looks on the tribe's faces.

Minutes later, and Misto quickly restored the lights. The tribe could see that Macavity had left, and 'Jerrie and 'Teazer were still stood in place, grinning impishly. And... They had their thieving sacks.

"Stoilin's awlwoiys gunah be wiv 'us!" The twins chorused, before giggling and running in the same direction their boss had gone in. Munkustrap's face met his paw, as the rest of the tribe chorused,

"And there's nothing at all, to be done about that!"

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><p><strong>AN: Macavity in this is basically me, I hate that Auld Lang Syne song.. Have a good New Year, if it means anything to you! Personally I'm gonna try and write the correct date on my schoolwork.. Please leave feedback. x**


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